remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
