like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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