so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
