Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
