We won't sleep together?
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
