What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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