Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
