I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize