I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
