Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
