your room smells of hookers.
And success
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
