Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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