I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
