yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
