Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
