Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
