you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
