well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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