i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
