This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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