it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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