So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
