I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
