Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
