In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
