I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
