No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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