I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
