Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize