Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
