Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
