Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
