I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
