he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
