He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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