I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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