Have you finally orgasmed yet?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
