I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
A+ Viking dick
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
