Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
