it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
