I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
