I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
