I hope mine doesn't look like that
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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