So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
