dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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