She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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