a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
