You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
