i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
