My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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