So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
