I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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