whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
