is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
