dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
