But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
