hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
