I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
