I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
