I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
