I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
