You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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