Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
