dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
