i just google imaged poop.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
