dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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